A Prayer For The Stressed

God,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I cannot accept,
And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had
to kill today because they pissed me off.
And also help me to be careful of the toes I step on today,
As they may be connected to the butt I have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work...
12% on Mondays,
23% on Tuesdays,
47% on Wednesdays,
16% on Thursdays,
and 2% on Fridays.

And help me to remember...
that when I'm having a really bad day,
And it seems people are trying to upset me,
That it takes 42 muscles to frown
And only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me.

And help me to remember that stressed is desserts spelled backwards.